The following is brought to you from the Entitlement Hills neighborhood message board on Yahoo - a virtual cornucopia of humor and intrigue.
This is the first message posted, titled "Found Cat" :
Has anyone lost a grey cat with two different colored eyes?
We have him/her in our garage right now if you are out looking. We didn't want to leave the cat outside as we have lost 3 cats in the past year to coyotes.
Three cats? Remind me not to ask you to pet-sit when we go on vacation. And it's precious how you're too modest to check the cat's gender. Here's the first reply :
I'm pretty sure that cat is a wild one. I've seen it coming through our yard for several years. I rescued a cardinal from its clutches a few months ago. If you want to do a service, you could take it to be neutered. Call Emancipet at XXX-XXXX or Animal Trustees of Austin at XXX-XXXX.
So, you've seen this cat around for "several years", and now you're suggesting that someone else get this thing neutered? You must be a joy to work with. Oh, and about rescuing that cardinal - where can we send the trophy? There's a second reply, of course, to the initial poster.
Did you find the owners? My neighbors XXXXXX and XXXXXXXXX have a grey cat with 2 different colored eyes. He has cancer in one eye. His name is Kidd* and he is a tom who roams free.
"He has cancer in one eye." That's sad. I'm pretty sure he's talking about the cat, and not the neighbor. So it's especially sad. But what's this about them letting this sick little kitty "roam free"? With the coyotes in the neighborhood (see the initial message, and here) is this just their sick approach to euthanasia or assisted pet suicide?
Indeed, the future looks bleak for this poor kitty. At best, he'll succumb to his disease, or the coyotes, or he'll get neutered. At worst, he'll live out the remainder of his days in Entitlement Hills. Life is hard.
* If anyone thinks that I've violated Kidd's privacy, note that I did not reveal his last name or SS#.
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7 comments:
poor kitty.
You have just been tagged (do not blame me I have been givin’ my marching orders) so I expect you will visit my blog and I will be expecting your 7 weird things post. If you do not comply to my demand:
Your computer will reboot the next time you reboot it
You will get a zit on your nose if you don’t wash your face
You will have bad karma for 3 days this week
You will not be able to sleep at night
You will stub your toe on the bed, and hit your funny bone at the same time
Now do you feel adequately pressured to comment???
Demanding lil bitch ain’t I?
Ha! You should see the shit on my neighborhood listserv. I wish it were about lost cats.
Oh wait, the bberry is buzzing...here's one now: "Thanks, Ted! Those guys broke into my neighbor's house last week. Hope the cops get them this time..."
Not even kidding. When y'all move into Austin city limits, perhaps you'll have some of the same.
Siren- zits, bad karma, insomnia, physical pain...I'm having flashbacks of adolescence. (Sigh)
Your demands will be met...except for the helicopter and $100,000 in twenties.
Muskrat - anything's better than the vacuum of narcissitic suburban ennui.
aulflI thought you might like to know that my first cat was named Sydney, and that he met an untimely and unfair demise whilst playing with his dear friend Smokey, in the middle of the Road. Heart Wrenching! My brother proceeded to race me up the street to the church basement where my parents were at a church meeting of one form or another(one form: Marriage Encounter group, Another Form:Overwhelmed Parents of 7 group, praying for tuition) The whole group was now involved, and low and Behold. "Don't worry, we'll get you a new cat." "But I don't want another cat, I want Sydney!!!!!!!" And then, low and Behold, a voice from the crowd, "My cat just had kittens" you can have one of them." The Lord indeed works n mysterious ways, when your doing His work, in His Basement.
And my next Cat? in a long line, of not really appreciated by her father, outdoor Cats: Cat-Astrophe! Yes, that was his name. And Why you ask? Why Name a Cat Catastrophe, Well, for all of the obvious reasons, like it running behind a stack of drywall and me worrying about it, and following it, only to be slammed by said stack of drywall, and rushed to the hospital for numerous stitches on my calf, after sitting on the porch with my brother waiting for the ambulance, and he distracting me with cup of Tea. If you really want to know, there was Toby, to follow, who indeed did follow me home from the convenient store, after I deftly lured him with freshly cut deli slices of "chip-chop" ham.Sadly, he only had half a tail. It was a stump. But I loved him just the same.
And then, there was Cola, yes, she was black as night, and apparently pretty popular with the other out door male cats in the neighborhood. She bequeathed both Pepsi, and Coca, one sadly lost to the tragedy of a bird Pecking. All true, And what ever became of Smokey?Yes, Smokey. Sydney's dear, dear friend with home Sydney met his untimely demise.
Smokey, dear Cat of Mrs. Francis, Indoor Cat loving neighbors, Lived to tell the tale, with a Jaw that was rebuilt and wired shut,( well I guess he had a hard time telling the tale with a jaw that was wired shut, but that is either here, nor there), and a brand new shiny glass eye!
Oh Mrs Francis was so lucky! Her l Cat lived and My Cat died.
But Smokey Promptly ran away, Leaving Mrs. Francis to tell the tale, and I got a new kitten, He wasn't Sydney mind you, but he was a pretty cool cat, who's name indeed was Cat-astrophe.
Gloria - it's not that I don't believe you, but I swear that's the plot to "Pride and Prejudice".
tee, hee, hee
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